There are many reasons why people might become friends, but having a true, happy friendship requires more than just proclaiming it. The qualities that I’ve come to recognize in long-lasting friendships are in the checklist below.
Friendship Stickiness Checklist
When you discuss topics, you can disagree without it becoming an argument. Talking is easy and hours can slip by quickly. Conversations are two-sided.
You do things that are fun together, such as art classes, horseback riding, gardening, running, etc. Your friendship does not revolve around eating or late nights at the bar.
Whether it is a transition in life, an emotional experience, or just some hard stuff, you’ve been through it. They’ve been a shoulder to cry on, and you’ve been the same for them. You may have even weathered a storm together – both of you in a crazy situation at the same time.
You feel like you have a voice in the friendship and trust that all of you is welcome to the table. You are authentic and vulnerable in the relationship, and so are they.
You see each other often, or, if you are long distance, you make time to catch up and have good conversations. When you talk, it’s like you picked back up from where you last left off.
One of the signs of a Sticky Friendship is that you can truly be yourself. Can you determine the difference between an “authentic” friendship and one that isn’t?
Watch the video for more info.
A relationship that includes all of the items in the Friendship Stickiness Checklist is what really marks a true friendship. If you’re holding parts of yourself back, or don’t have common interests with someone, that doesn’t last long.
If you read the checklist and realize your friendships aren’t sticky, it’s not too late!
Here’s how to start creating long-lasting friendships:
- Take some time today to connect with 3 people you want to keep in your life.
- Ask them to do an activity with you and make a scheduled plan to do so. Be sure to give them a few options for days and times.
- When you do hang out, see if you can have a conversation about real things happening in your life. Express your feelings, concerns, excitement, etc. Be sure to ask them lots of questions about their own life, too.
- Make a new plan to hang out again in a couple weeks. Mark it on your calendars, and repeat!
Having good friendships is one of the most rewarding parts of life. But it isn’t always so easy to turn an acquaintance into a real friend. If you need help with getting over rejection, feeling better about who YOU are in a friendship, or need the social skills to communicate with others, I can help. Check out the Find Your Tribe program.
