Here’s a quick story about how an unlikely friends group developed out of a book club, and tips to find your own supportive community like this.
What comes to your mind when you think about book clubs?
Typically, I think of them as an okay way to meet people, but also pretty low-bar. Like, how can you really know someone well by reading a book with them?
So, when my friend invited me to join a virtual book club in January, I admit I didn’t put too much stock into it. Oh, it would be fine for a few months, but would fizzle out like others I’ve been a part of in the past.
Boy, was I wrong.
This bi-weekly virtual club is comprised of 6 ladies from mostly Colorado Springs, Denver, as well as myself in Eagle County and my friend who lives in the UK. I didn’t really know the other gals at all.
But over the last several months, we’ve gotten into some really heavy topics. We’ve bonded over books that seemed silly on the surface, but led us to some deep and vulnerable conversations.
Caption: This was one of the books we read that really sparked good conversation, which surprised us, since it’s actually a young adult book.
In early May, we decided to meet for the first time in person at the Tattered Cover downtown in Denver. (My UK friend has been in Colorado the last few months so she could join.) We had such a great time together and it felt like we were all old friends.
So, we took a chance and scheduled a girl’s weekend from May 31 to June 2 in Carbondale, CO.
I was so anxious about it. It has been years since I’ve done a group girls trip, and they haven’t always been the best experience. But I went anyway, and this was a trip for the books.
It was so much fun. We cooked dinners, went to the Avalanche Ranch hot springs, stayed up late talking, I read tarot cards for them, and we shopped downtown Carbondale.
But best of all we did joy activities like a dance party, skipping down the road, yoga in the backyard, and some of us even stuck our heads out the sun roof while driving. My heart was full after this trip.
Why am I telling you any of this? It’s not to brag, I assure you.
The reason for this story is to show you that good friends can come from the most unlikely places. This group of ladies is so different on the surface, but we have threads that tie us together.
The biggest connection started out as a hobby – a love of reading – which enabled us to have the opportunity to get to know each other. And now, having spent time in person, we’ve created an even stronger foundation.
Caption: One of the amazing homemade dinners we ate on our trip. Somehow the gal who cooked for us figured out a recipe that all could eat (vegan, gluten free, nut-free).
Finding friends Through Hobbies
If you are looking for better friendships, the first place you can start is with your hobbies. According to Meetup, people on average have 2.4 hobbies or interests, and join 5+ Meetup groups to support them. (Source.)
Sadly, not all of us have Meetup.com groups near us to join. Such is the case where I live. However, you can still research groups or activities near you that match your hobbies. I’ve also learned now that you can search state-wide, because you might make some good friends that live 2 hours away, even in a virtual group.
Finding Community through Lesser-Known Activities
To hit this point home, here’s another story from a podcast called Death, Sex, and Money. The host talked to this guy who found community through kite skiing. Here’s an excerpt: Jim grew up in Ohio and often felt like an outsider. He wasn’t a sports guy. He didn’t like the competitive dynamic, so he mostly adventured outside on his own or with just his family. When he went to college in Monday, Montana, Jim finally found a community where it felt like he fit.
Jim – “Doing things outdoors with other people felt like an opportunity to have camaraderie that could feel hard for me to find elsewhere in life. There’s one element of taking in some enjoyment and watching other people’s capability, like watching somebody else who’s good at the activity that you’re doing, but also not really in a competitive setting like most team-based sports matches or something more like, hey, let’s try and hike to the top of this mountain together. There’s still a requirement for some self-sufficiency, but also there’s this camaraderie of this shared experience that feels really potent.”
Put it into Action
To sum it all up, the best way to find new friends is to get yourself out there.
Figure out your hobbies and join some groups that love the same things you do. If you need help with identifying your hobbies, subscribe to my newsletter below to receive the Joy Cheat Sheet template, or join the Find Your Tribe program.
During the 8-week program you receive:
– A strategic action plan to meet potential friends, suited to your personality and goals
– Roleplaying activities to enhance your conversations
– Discussions to increase your confidence in social situations
– Reflections to empower you and let go of negative self-talk
– Bi-weekly check-in meetings
Learn more about the program here.
Want to meet new friends…but don’t know where to start?
Build a lasting circle of friends with the Friendship Road Map – your free gift for signing up for the Rosa Joy newsletter.
- Go from “alone and doing nothing” to having weekends that are jam-packed with festivals, hikes, taking classes, and backyard barbecues with good friends.
- Discover interesting outlets for meeting people, even if it seems like there’s not much to do where you live.
- Most people say they want good friends, but never do anything about it. I’ll show you how to take the actions up front to not only meet new people, but to find the RIGHT friends for you.
Stop spinning your wheels, wondering how to make friends as an adult. Instead, get started building the friendships you deserve! Subscribe now to get this free 3-Page Guide.