Today I’m going to tell you an embarrassing story.
Back in 2017, I was determined to move to Colorado Springs from Michigan. I spent a full year talking to locals, researching places to live, jobs, and the logistics of moving myself and two pets across the country in a car.
When I finally arrived in March of 2018, I felt as though I’d achieved something major. I then set out looking for a job, making friends, and establishing myself.
Once I had those things and was feeling like I had what I wanted, I felt like I could relax for a while. I didn’t need to be striving for anything.
It was then, in the Fall of 2018, that I started dating a guy who had a big dream of his own. He wanted to move to Florida, buy a sailboat, and live in it while sailing around the world. He was ready to leave in a few months AND he wanted me to go with him.
“Sure”, I told him. And then we spent all this time talking about his dreams and what life would look like.
I did all this despite having moved to Colorado only 5 months before this. Despite having pets that I dearly loved. Despite everything I’d worked so hard to achieve.
I latched myself on to his dreams just.like.that.
Thank goodness he dumped me a couple months into the relationship, well before I made any firm plans to uproot my life.
5 months in to living in my new home and I almost threw it all away.
Is it time to stop being a tumbleweed?
As I spent my next few months picking up the pieces of myself, I realized something huge.
I didn’t have a purpose anymore. I wasn’t striving to do anything or be anything after I had figured out the move, apartment, and job. I didn’t have a sense of drive to keep me anchored to my own convictions or self.
No wonder I’d been flailing in the wind like a tumbleweed, waiting for someone else’s dreams to latch myself on.
I could have smacked myself for being so naïve.
I spent all that time living for my dream to move to the west, and yet I was ready to throw it all away that quickly. I had lost myself completely in that relationship.
“Never again!” I told myself.
From that moment on, I’ve always had a purpose or goals or SOMETHING to strive for. Following that situation, in 2019, I was striving towards:
- finding a new career (making connections, learning about careers, going back to school, and applying for jobs, volunteering)
- getting rid of my anger (joined a kickboxing gym and started running more)
- making good friends (I got really close with a group that I met at some Meetups)
- working on my mental health and letting go of old wounds (I started seeing an amazing therapist)
- having fun with new Colorado experiences (camping, exploring, hiking, skydiving, etc)
- tapping into my spiritual beliefs (reading, meditating, working with spirit guides, listening to podcasts)
…and many other things. As you can see, my purpose wasn’t rooted in just one activity. I was striving towards many goals at once, because they brought about a new ME.
That was my main purpose that year – to find myself and figure out who and what I wanted to be. My purpose has changed over the years, but I’m always working towards something that lights my soul on fire.
The thing about this story is that it can happen to any of us, at any time of our lives.
I did this Spartan race with my kickboxing gym in 2019. I was truly living in my purpose, discovering my strength and pushing myself that year.
What if you don’t know how to start?
If you’re being honest with yourself, are you feeling like I was in that time?
Maybe you worked really hard on something, and you’ve been living it a while, but you let yourself get lax on striving to accomplish new goals.
Perhaps life has seemed easier when you let your loved ones live their dreamswhile you stand on the sidelines. Or you’ve been too busy fulfilling everyone else’s needs that you forgot about your own.
We can so easily get swept up by the world if we aren’t sure where we want to plant our feet next.
We turn into confused people, looking towards everyone else to drive us forward. And we can easily get derailed when others don’t like us or when we hear bad news going on around us.
We reach for the wrong people, the wrong situations, and look for approval in the wrong places, because we don’t have a firm grip on what it is WE want for ourselves.
Having a purpose, that beautiful inner drive to achieve our dreams and goals, helps you to:
- Feel stronger in your choices, because you know what you want and how you are going to get there.
- Have better boundaries because you know that you’re working toward something big. Therefore, you can’t be and do everything for everybody anymore.
- Be less inclined to overcommit yourself, because you know your path forward and there just isn’t enough time in the day!
- Easily let go of the obligations that don’t bring you joy or help you along your path.
- Have more hope for the world because you have excitement about your life and know you are changing for the better
- Feel more in control of your life and therefore get derailed by others less
- Worry less about the judgement of others because you are working towards something that brings you happiness and it feels good!
Best of all, you start living a life that is FOR you.
If you’ve gotten to this point and wondered how you can even find that purpose again, you’re not alone.
You might be feeling like you have lost that piece of you that knows what you really want, or how to get there.
In my own situation, I had to go on a journey to find myself again. Especially at that time, when I was battling depression, shame, confusion, and a general feeling of not caring about my life. That’s why a big part of my purpose at that time was to just feel good again and to have fun.
But I will say, when I had that those things I was working on, it was easier for me to get up in the morning. I had more excitement about life. I was driven to connect with new people and figure out how to move forward on things. I didn’t need the prodding because I was invested in myself, and I was invested in the process.
So, what DO you do when you aren’t sure where to start?
How DO you find your purpose?
The first step to finding your purpose is to get really clear on who you want to beand what kind of life you want to have. Then you want to move on to:
- Find out your heart’s deepest desires
- Figure out what’s working, not working, what your skills are, and what brings you joy
- Learn and practice how to trust yourself, your intuition, and knowing when something is right (or wrong) for you
- Combine everything into a path forward
- Create a strategy to start living in your purpose
If this sounds overwhelming, don’t worry!
This is why I created the Find Your Purpose program, using the same methods that worked for me, especially when I didn’t know where to start.
The Find Your Purpose program is designed to walk you through every step of this process.
Even if you think there’s no way you can identify your dreams or future hobbies, I promise you that you can. The tools I share with you in this program are proven to work.
Heck, I’ve used them for several years, even when I was feeling so stuck as a business owner, not knowing how to transition out of something that wasn’t working. My clients have also found success with these same methods.
By the end of this 7-day digital program, you will have a clear path forward and direction on where you want to go.
It’ll have you excited about life again and about your journey.
Best of all, you’ll have HOPE for the future.
If you’ve been looking for a solution to finding direction for your life, check out the on-demand Find Your Purpose program.
What you get with the Find Your Purpose program:
- 7 days of activities, reflections, and worksheets
- 4 techniques to reconnect with your heart and soul
- 10+ strategies to discover your life purpose
- 3 guided activities that instantly boost your confidence and trust for yourself
- A strategy to seamlessly incorporate more fun and joy into your day
- A done-for-you action plan to immediately propel you into living a more meaningful life
- Advice on how to change your career, start volunteering, pick up new hobbies, or launch a business
- The popular Career Transitions White Paper filled with tips on how to begin a new career, fact-finding interview questions template, deep reflection activities, and more
Learn more about it below.
