When I was about 22 years old, I went to see “The Hangover” in the theaters with my good friend. I was laughing a lot in the beginning, until I realized my friend was sitting there frowning, making comments about how stupid the movie was.
I quickly wiped the smile off my face.
My young head thought, “If she doesn’t think this movie is funny, I shouldn’t either.” In that moment, I decided that is better to be “cool” than outwardly express my enjoyment about anything.
Why am I telling you this story?
Because I only recently understood that this moment set me on a bad trajectory in life. This experience caused me to stop smiling when I was having a good time. I also stopped smiling at strangers. For fear of being labeled “uncool” or being embarrassed to be the only one laughing, I shut it all down.
I became really good at having the look of “resting b* face” and in turn, became un-approachable to strangers.
Learning how to blow glass was such a cool experience, but I didn’t want to show my excitement by smiling.
Fast forward to 16 years later, present day. I am trying so hard to un-do that “smiling is dorky” mindset I created.
More than anything, I WANT to smile and be known as “smiley”. I want people to see me as joyful and warm as I feel on the inside. I want to exude happiness. For goodness sakes, I call myself a “Joy Guide”….shouldn’t I have a perma-smile on my face?
I’ll tell you, though, it is so hard to reverse this mentality. Day by day, it’s getting easier, but it takes a ton of intention.
A stand-up-and cheer moment for my smiling journey was last weekend. I attended a yoga/dance/shaking class called Buti. It is SO much fun. A month ago, the last time I took the class, I stopped myself from smiling because I felt like a dork. But on Saturday, I let myself smile the entire time. It felt amazing to have my face show what I was feeling.
Guess what? Nobody called me a dork, either. In fact, the teacher seemed happy to have someone smiling back at her.
Recently, when I was telling my friend about my mission to smile more, she told me a story of her own. When she was young, she would smile at kids in the hallway at school as she passed them. Until people started to make fun of her for smiling at them. So, she too, stopped smiling at strangers. Luckily, she decided to start back up, and is now one of the most smiley people I know.
It’s weird to think that there’s some sort of stigma for being happy or nice to strangers, huh?
Think about the last time a stranger smiled at you. How did it make you feel?
Every time someone smiles at me that I don’t know, it lights me up. It makes me feel seen. I never think they are “uncool” for doing it!
Even now, despite my intentions, I’ll admit I’m still terrible at smiling at strangers. I “try” to smile, but end up making this weird muppet-face half-smile that probably comes off as a frown.
Here’s a genuine smile from Labor Day weekend!
The Being Brave Challenge – Week 1
This next week, I’m making it a point to really smile and say hi to a stranger. No muppet-smiles…these will be big teeth-showing grins.
I’ll challenge you to do the same.
This will be Week #1 of the Being Brave Challenge. Each week, you’ll be given an “assignment” to get a little out of your comfort zone. These challenges will help you connect better with yourself, with others, and give you a little more positivity in your day. Who knows what kind of impact you’ll make on someone else, too?!
Send me an email if you have a good story that comes out of this challenge.
Have you lost part of yourself? Want to get it back?
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- Get REALLY excited about your life, sometimes without even leaving the house!
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